I want to Write a Book about my LifeI' d like to write a book about my life.
It was Leslie Jamison trying to make a script that felt like an AA meet.
The Recovering is not an obsession memoirs. This work looks at how an artiste, author or enthusiast sometimes resort to "addictive" behavior and how many of the uncertainties that could trigger an obsession can spur them on. Chronicized are recidivism and life-threatening situations, but also the results that Jamison himself had in times of liquor.
She finds the echo of her lifetime in other artistic myths such as John Berryman, Jean Rhys, Denis Johnson, Billie Holliday, Raymond Carver, Amy Winehouse-but she examines her past or her not through a lense of doom. Jamison's tale of getting better is as convincing as the tale of a spiralling lifetime because her health has not fallen apart; her healing is more subtle because her "problem" was more difficult to understand.
She and I talked about how she designed an anti-memoir on drug abuse and what kind of creativeness is flattening and reviving it. For you as an essayist, how important was it to organize the work as a hybride gender and not as related essay? I knew from the beginning that I wanted to create a script that worked like a textbook from ?a-?a, organized both by being different (the concept of getting in touch with the life of strangers) and by narrating (the concept of life turned into stories).
I felt it was important that the volume consists of many discreet tales and that these are the web of a coherent major story: the history of obsession and convalescence written across many levels and many scales; that of a particular life and the extent of US civilization and popular representation during the 20th world.
Like a convalescent get-together, I wanted the notebook to switch back and forth between the individuals and the society, and I wanted it to sound like a collection of votes, like a convalescent get-together does. And I wanted a script that felt impulsive to reading, that had a true storytelling impulse, so I wanted it to use my own lives as a kind of impulsive storytelling nucleus to which the other tales could be adjoin.
My intention was for the work to switch back and forth between the person and the welfare, just like a convalescent group. As an author, what were the main challenge for you to compensate for the recurring factors "redundancy" and "relapses" within the searches? Many times we think of a "simple" or foreseeable narrative framework for narrative about drug abuse and better?-?things went down the drain, then we found better and better better that better?--â' m intrigued by the way the narrative about drug abuse is often a really hard one.
To be honest, with loyalty to the disreputable reality, it is a tale of repetition and redundance limited by a certain kind of storytelling claustrophobia. What does this mean? After a while it will be nice to visit the website ?to or just for reading. History of obsession often lacked a satisfactory narrowing of narratives because it is characterized by the cyclic pattern of recidivism; and I wanted to tell both items in my book - book?-15-COPY14 Boredom of obsession, and its cyclic ?the-?while yet another history that had a certain kind of dynamism and thrust in the course of the work.
While soberness could be considered the "boring" part of the plot, how can one suggest that there is a whole lot of rather dampening dullness boiled into obsession - but, how can one cause that dullness without having to write a dull work? When you tell this tale, what prompted you to create the pluralistic voices of the first people?
LJ: I like the way different parts in the script talk about its plaited parts, so Berryman's words could help lighten something about Jean Rhys' own existence or my own. It was part of my concept of the volume of ?that it consists of several lifes, several histories, several voices, and not just my own.
Some of it had to do with the desire to make a textbook with the same external texture that convalescence brought with it, for me - something that saves my life. A part of it had to do with the esthetic challenges of creating a kind of anti-memoir website together with several plot strands and several parts and connecting them in such a way that they generate response without enforcing a wrong fusion or completely loosing impetus.
Part of it had to do with the desire to oppose the notion of a simple equation for the history of drug or convalescence; I wanted to make it more complicated by providing a series of different histories that followed a series of different paths. but what if she doesn't?
but what if she doesn't? but what if she doesn't? Are there any connections between "rejection" and the "desire to dull the edge with alcohol" in write programmes? This much of the textbook is via ?and-?and the anxiety of protests against protests by protests from protests from rejection or consolation: "I want this individual to like me, but what if not?
but what if she doesn't? but what if she doesn't? As you wrote The Gin Closet, which was released in 2010, did the excitement of austerity and recidivism influence your work? One of my friends (who is also an writer who has been down-to-earth for many years) said that she always thought the novel had a deeply ambivalent relation to booze, and she is right.
Throughout the years I used to write it, I was mainly ?but-?but I started thinking about it, stopping and asking myself what that would be like. Some of the things about austerity and convalescence in this volume sound a little cavernous, and a little grim and timid and a little grim6?it' s an anxious idea of what it would be like to give up this thing without which I could not imagin.
However, typing about alcohol is very viszeral and www. come--- from the depths of this state of enthrall, just beginning to become self-conscious. Did your soberness change your typing and your own ideas? The Recovering's key question is the relation between creativeness and austerity, and - specifically - what Types of creativeness could be stimulated by austerity rather than evanescend.
What was one of my anxiety of getting sober sober?-sober I would people a indisputable impermanence that enlivened the work?-?and a anxiety that I wage almost all the literate I also common explored in any body. As part of what revived this idea was the wish to find a model of what rational creativeness could look like.
To me, it wasn't immediately obvious that my creative work came into sobriety5-?there, which was a load of in-house luggage and crap that I had to do first, and there were many long periods in which I threw myself against these austere evenings and tried to make them creative and prolific. But, finally, soberness opened up enormously thrilling new horizons in my work - especially, a turn to the other people' s lifestyles (in the archive, through reporting) and to a modus of hybrids that bring my own personal existence into being.
One of the things I felt was the call to look beyond my own website ?and and I would like to believe that my letter is proof of this awareness. Recovering also I think ?and has altered the way they honour the exchangeable history instead of expect ( (or even want) that each individual's history is "unique", the way I think about individual narratives: someone's experience doesn't have to be extraordinary to be tellable, it just has to be watched with sharpness and rigour.
In your materials, how did you organise the various narratives and themes of your own culture-historical, researched and reported content? "It is perfect for the perception of placing this volume together - together?-together at 14 that there were all these different flows or threading, each at its own speed, and I have somehow tried to browse between them.
There I had excerpts of my own experiences of my own and I had enormous quantities of archive research and literature review from my thesis at Yale (about authors who sobered up, the institutes who tried to make them fast, and the work that came out of their sobriety), and I had hazy vision of a script that put my history next to theories of -.
Luckily I had a one-month stay at the Lannan Foundation in Marfa, Texas, for a particularly weird time in my ?and - when, I could write very little at the beginning of the months at all - and, I took a pile of empty piece of plain old papers and composed all the songs of all the tales I wanted to tell, myself included.
There were fifty or sixty of them, on the point -COPY8 - a possible premonition of what the script might look like, and that enabled me to write it, after spreading the pages as a kind of card, posting a page at a while.
It is about the relation between creativeness and austerity, and - specifically - what Types of creativeness could be stimulated by austerity rather than evanescend. What is your definition of soberness? Will the importance of austerity vary in the course of a lifetime? Crudely, I would definition austerity as exemption from the state of the poisonous ?in - in this contexts, dependency on a compound.
To me personal being sober means to renounce any compound that changes my condition of consciousness at consciousness.com-consciousness I am also careful how temperance can become a kind of tyrannic imperative or tightly defined one. In the case of many individuals who have had difficult relations with drugs, a sensible sense of austerity could represent a changed relation to drink or leisure drugs consumption that does not seem to be consumptive, damaging or compulsive.
And, yes, totally, austerity can vary throughout your entire being. To me, this means getting a kind of matter-of-fact ?trying to have my faults, to give up my own power of controlling others, to see beyond the limits of my own ?to the conditions of my lives as they have evolved over the years: relations that end and begin, start a home, build a teaching world.
How it would feel to experience these episodes soberly is constantly developing; it would be out of the question for austerity to remain the same. I' ve been reading that you edited 100,000 words out of the script. It is a great, comprehensive work. I' ve edited a giant ledger from this giant ledger and it's still a giant ledger.
On one point my ?who is also a ?who ?who Me: "You may just have to admit that you're a big-timer. I would say I fought most with the editing of many narrow reading of fiction type ?the-?the which was the main part of my thesis, but often felt bulky or repeating here - and with the extraction of detail from my own emotional history, which is significant but not necessarily at the service of narration.
In the journeys we made, I used to hate to cut out parts of the great romance we had made, the romance stories we shared, the personal language we discovered, the way I found myself in his ?because, I didn't want to tell our relation only in relation to difficulties; I also wanted to honour what was nice and happy about it.
Since my letter is alive and dying through its detail, I find it agonizing to slice things that other folks could send more easily: the syrups and wafers a lady vomits with after drinking over her collegiate friends, or the time that a lady was inadvertently eating an icecream cup lined with creme de mental while she took Antabuse; the sense that even this little treat had made her betray.
" Whilst the phrase is associated with a particular relation, the excitement of "saying the right thing" has influenced your attitude to your previous Yale and Iowa work? LJ: I think the implicit need to "say the right thing" is a common theme that links many different circumstances and constraints in this book: the wish to gain acceptance from the institutions, the wish to gain and sustain the wishes of others, the wish to gain space in a twelve-step healing group.
I' m dramatizing two very different Iowa sequences as supports or slides for each other: a group of emerging authors who sit in a cellar celebration to tell the "best story", and a group of folks who sit in a cellar years later and tell the tales of their despair to help each other out. ?those-?those are two very different vision of what the "right thing" could be.
Are wreck histories getting more publicity than those of salvage? However, with this volume I wanted to argue that repairs and convalescence can also be imperative narratives; disproving this wreck has a solemn claim to our obsessive attentiveness. I have always consented to Tolstoy that every miserable familiy is miserable in its own way, but against the idea that fortunate familys are all fortunate in the same way -- states like luck and convalescence can be as diverse, as subtile, as dimensioned and striped as their murkier co-ins.
There are several references in the script to your ex-boyfriend Dave. Has he or someone else cited in the script been reading your script before it was released? As I am posting articles about my own lives, I try to give everyone I am posting the chance to review the materials so that we can debate them.
So, I asked almost everyone I mentioned in the script to at least browse the pages of this ?or - as I worked on it, and Dave, who actually did two different designs, and whose comments were profoundly understandable and contributed to making the script more powerful and more true to the complexities of it.
He was my companion when I was working on this work. I do something basically worthwhile?-?that brutally honest about everything I need to do to make it better. I' m about to revise my next one.
It' a compilation of essay about spook and possession, among them plays about children with recollections of past lives, the rest of the Sri Lankan Civil War, a group of people possessed by a mystical bluefinhafen known as " the most lonely cetacean in the worid ", the perpetual on-line portal Second Live, my own tiresome story with Las Vegas.... it is something I have worked on for the last six years, but I'm thrilled to put it together.
I' m also working on another novel in secret and dreaming of an essays on caesarean sect.