How to open a new BookTo open a new book
You know how to open a new book?
It may seem so straightforward to open a new book that a newborn could do it, but the ?from papercuts and broken ties to the infant are all over ?are in large numbers. Fortunately, there are some technologies that the reader has evolved over the ages to provide a seamless literacy experience. The Isaac Newton uses the force of nature to make the back of a new book softer.
The spoilers begin by opening the last page of a new book, then get angry that they broke the end, and eventually throw it - or else it - into a stack to look at it - ?in - it?-?in. Scatch'n' sniff: Anyone who loves the scent of new literature can leaf through it with their noses.
A favourite of booksellers who want to keep their book in as good as new state as possible, The PRECEDIC only opens pages at an 30 degrees to make sure the spines do not bend. Centipedin' uses all ~50 sides of the backrest to break into many sections.
They should cover the entire length of the spinal column. When they run across the spinal column, man, how did you do that? The Puppy Edition: Puppy owners can put some goodies between the pages of a new book and let their puppy loose the bindings while Fido is looking for a little treat.
Open ogre: Ogre Open often happens by chance. Readers will try to carefully wrinkle part of the book and grab the adhesive with their mute, awkward brush. Openers have a tendency to get peed on, promising to softly flex the next section and then retighten fifty pages later.
It is the only opening technology where the book is not opened. Instead, the readers say "hiya!" and chop the spinal column from the outside until it is sufficiently slack. For book club use, this book opening method takes at least three people: one to place the book on the back, a second to turn the back at a steady interval, and a third to push each section delicately.
All you have to do is curl, turn, slap, slap and scrape the book in a chaotic manner until it looks like a novel that is read affectionately a dozefold.