How not to Write a novel

Like not writing a novel

Like not writing a novel. Fact: apart from Hilary Mantel, no one has ever won the Booker Prize, and you are not Hilary Mantel. Ever wanted to be a writer and master the strange and confusing world of selling your works to the publishing industry? Instead, it feels like a writer trying to be a writer. Skip to Do not check social media.

Like not writing a novel

In the early 2000s I worked for several years as editor-in-chief of the renowned UK lifestyle journal The Face. Because I had a way into the world of celebrities and fashions. But it was a bad dream, because under my guidance the 25-year-old journal was closing.

I' d write a novel. I' m not a failing newspaperman anymore. I' d be a writer. The first task was to make the main figure. In order to use my stories, I thought that this should be a mag. I' made the chief of editing the bad guy. He would be the publisher, like me, of a renowned periodical of styles and fashions that was in danger of closing down.

Contrary to me, he would save his journal in a way: he would A-list celebs on the covers, and then, like the edition at the kiosks, he would murder the celeb. An increase in the level of interest would result in the sale and his journal would receive amnesty.

However, he would have to kill more and more prominent individuals in order to maintain this achievement, and that would cause difficulties. It would be a celeb homicide comedy. That was a Will Smith line from the film Boys II, but it also included my key idea: The whole VIP scene was crazy, and if someone wanted to kill all the big names, maybe they weren't all evil.

However, at the moment I thought that the letter about the murder of celebrities would be a kind of alchemy: I would turn my failing into shining fictitious ore. When I was to be successful as a writer, I had to know something about drama. So, I purchased a novel named How To Write A Damn Good Novel.

I was worried, however, that my novel wasn't damn good. The protagonist was a maniac. Even though the notion of a publisher of a journal that murders celebrities could be ironically interesting, most of them work by letting the readers succeed in a personality that is important to them. The killer doppelganger has come up with interesting ways to kill celebrities, like the bursting diptych candles that he snuck into Angelina Jolie's Oscar Goodwill pocket.

It was a touching contrasting to the cartoon imagination created in the weekly newspapers of the celebrities. She would be a lovely fool who lives in Los Angeles, fails as an actor and makes ends meet as a handler.

Then she' s in the cross hairs of the murdering psychic journalist. To write a novel... is like making a home out of candy. Reading more about How To Write A Damn Good Novel, I learnt the importance of conflicts. that my best stories of celebrities would entertain.

In my handbook, however, I was notified that this was purely a shopfront decoration: the readers would be grabbed if the key personality came into dispute. I' ve been telling him about my novel. While I still relished speaking about the premises of the murder of a prominent person, I felt more shaky when I described my feminine personality. He had seen many reporters floating like a moth towards the flaring flames of novelism.

In search of counsel, I join a group of authors. There was no group I could find that wrote famous detective stories, but in the end I had some very friendly women working on them. All of them had been studying to write creatively and were living in a postmodern literature that had long since abandoned the interests of pedestrians in terms of nature and conflicts.

A few month later I had an end to my story: The journalist had my Dogwalker actress in my sight when she came to the Spore première. It is a fictive universe that the mind of the baby can dream of, fill with human beings and keep in its mind.

They were also about novels: when writers invented realms and personalities, they created para cosmos. However, I saw a problem: my initial plan was to show the stories I had gathered on The Face. However, something about using true celebs in a counterfeit worid felt rattling. Paracosmus theories explain this: By studying the fictional, the readers created an fictional universe and brought the figures to live.

However, the readers already had a psychological construct of prominent people, of all the prominent journals and television that they ate. All of a sudden it became clear why there are so few books with genuine, lively celebrities: nobody wants to rack their brain when they read on the shore. So, I began to replace my famous people with fictitious alternates.

Now I had to create a convincing background story for each character: The faked celebs would need faked biographies. I had been taken to a mire by my "celebrity abbreviation". I' ve returned to the group of authors over and over again. Also my comrades failed, but in different ways: they were so well versed in literature that they were unable to write anything with an action.

There was no need to look any further: the past form "sought" was enough to affirm what I had already believed: my novel was doomed to fail. is that it is like a raisin-housing. I have tried to shorten the whole novelists' cycle by gathering together celebrities' stories.

Admittedly, my celeb homicide would never be a film and I would never get the fantastic Malibu-Beachhouse. I have learnt a great deal about story telling, play and personality. I' ve learnt that writing a fictional story is a paracosmos, and that my personalities should be like imagined boyfriends living in my mind with their hope-fight.

I' ve also learnt that it's stupid to include Madonna or Tom Cruise in your novel.

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