Am Ia WriterOn Ia Writer
etc... Phillip Larkin's tomb in Cottingham, East Yorkshire. What am I a writer for?
I' m a writer?
I' m a writer who hasn't been writing in ten short years, but I say to myself that true authors take every possible instant to take to write what I haven't done. So I' m a writer? Maybe I needed this amount of space to put down my stylus and get away from my computer, but I am most vibrant when I can type for myself and for myself.
It' not about whether I call myself a writer, but how I see my being. It is the most convenient way of expressing myself. It becomes my compression control for my inner unrest, which is the construction of my many interaction and a way to deal with what went badly and what seems pretty good.
I' m not a writer who goes to her home station to make word sequences that come in for a nice afternoon tea hour later, or one who showers at noon and turns from her nightgown and slip-on into daytime attire. I' m not a writer who is a smoker or a drinker without worrying about what her home might look like or whether the dogs have been nourished or the beds made.
They' all welcome disorders that finally help me to concentrate and then start writing. The inconvenience of my words is distracted by a comfortable series of articulate dusts that I finally inhale. An author's favourite room - her home offices. Together with my writers' beliefs, my absence of self-confidence and the faith that they must be better than me, they are more meritorious because in their complete sheath of their trade, to the outside world, they can build in a way that I will never be able to.
It can and often I want to be harassed; honestly, it has to be me, but I am still a writer. I' ve been told that most authors don't just want to do writing because they want to, but also because they have to, and I have to! Writing my history, my thoughts, the injustice I have caused myself and others, I work through it to comprehend where my perception might have taken a turn from the world.
First of all, I work through my mistakes and put them out to tender to such an extent that I can be prepared to apologise.... often first to myself. Only when I was older, I mean much older, did I realize that I had a talent - that I was perhaps even better than just a "good" writer, better than just a nice writer.
And I saw myself as someone who liked writing, but not really someone with as much skill as other authors. Now I have my gift, my exceptional capacity to put my thoughts on paper and allow myself to see who I really am - a writer. Yes, I am a writer because I have to type, I like writing, and I have to type in some way to work through my own and yours.
I may not be for long and I have to make myself visible in the morning before I take over my trade, but it is my trade and I own it. So even a writer needs a pause from her trade and even a writer needs a pause.
That'?s why I give myself a rest. Who I am is a writer. This is the author's first volume, released this year.